its so scary how human feelings are. its so easy to want the intense rush back to comfort, to familiarity, to all things nice, to constant. when i was back home, i was on constant, life was almost perfect, nv needed anything else. was nice and good when i was bored i had my bobby and mary and daniel.
here, everythings just unpredictable. friends unpredictable. friends come and go. friends have mood. same applies for myself. unpredictable was and is the very thing thats constant. but as always, theres a flip side. whats life when ure always on a constant? nv growing, exploring, learning how one can push himself to expand in all ways, feeling like u got too much work too lil time pushed all the way back in your head. people seem to understand you for a day & the next day, you dont seem to know them anymore. everyones guarded & its so refreshing to just see someone excited to know you, make freinds with you or even talk. you see the passing by of ppl, ignoring each other, wanting to change that, but be pushed to conform to not touch that custom cos everyones just so cold & ignorant.
so is constant good? i like it, but i think this is my season to be rocked side to side n come out of it stronger. today, i say i had enough. i am sad, i am tired, i am lonely, i am worried sick about everything but i stop being sad, i stop being tired, i stop being lonely, i stop being sick with worry and just be awesome, breathe easy, and smile a little, life really feels better for that one instant. but how do u define life again? theres so much more i want to push myself to learn, to experience, i want to be given that opp that chance, i want to look back and know each season ive learnt and grown. today, now, i be happy. besides, one min wasted on negativity is one min lost, so pounce on positivity, look at the positive side of everyone (which is something ive gotta learn and work hard at) n be happy.